It was saturday night, I was stood infront of the mirror. My hair was in a intricate updo that I spent hours doing. I was wearing one of the many dresses Mama J had gotten me. It was a peachy colour and stopped just above mid thigh. It fit my body like a glove, without making me look like a hoe. I paired them with white pumps and a white clutch bag.
Chris was in his metalic gray Armani suit. He had gotten a nice hair cut and he looked good.
“You look good Christopher” I smiled,
“So do you” He grinned back.
He opened the front door, “Ladies First” I walked thought the door and watched him as he locked the door. I followed him outside the building to his car.
We both sat down as he started the car.
He glanced at me and looked back on the road, “Its almost been a month…” He trailed off.
“Yeah,” He mumbled.
Then awkward silence.
I watched him concentrate on the road, Chris made me feel different, He makes me feel like I actually have a purpose. He’d do the smallest things like smile - and he would make me smile back at him. He was caring, and despite all the money he’s still down to earth.
This sounds so cliché, Like i was falling for him.. I’m not - I dont think I am. I just think he’s an overall great guy.
He must have seen me staring at him
“Nothin’” I blushed. He laughed, “Aight”
I looked out the window, “Why you so shy all of a sudden?”
“I’m not shy,”
“Pretty girls shouldn’t lie - its not a good look”
“I’m not shy Chris, I just don’t know what to say..”
He drove to a place I never seen before. He pulled up in a huge hall. He hopped out the car and opened the door for me. He held my hand and helped me out the car.
He handed the valet his car keys. In return the guy gave him a key or something. Chris gave it to me to put in my clutch.
He held my hand, and we walked into the hall together.
It was beautiful. People in all sorts of dresses and suits, either socializing or drinking.
Chris walked in the direction of an elderly couple. “Hello, Christopher” The woman smiled.
“Good evening, Mr&Mrs Long,” He smiled.
“Is this your wife?” he nodded,
I smiled and shook both thier hands, “What are you doing at the moment?”
“Collage, I major in Pshycology and Photography, But i’m taking Science and Maths as minors.”
The man nodded, “Wow, she’s better than that Khaina girl you brought last year”
The woman nodded in agreement.
Chris led me towards another few people and we talked, all of them asked me what I was doing in collage and every, single, one of them told me I was better than Khaina.
whoever this girl was - she obviously made people remember her. I excused myself from the conversation we were having.
I was tired of hearing this ‘Khaina’ girls name.
I walked up to a bunch of girls. “Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?”
“Oh my Gawwd, You’re Chris’ wife, right?”
I smiled and nodded, I honestly didn’t know why people were so ecstatic about it.
One of the girl took my hand and analyzed both rings Chris had given me.
“Do you know how much you have on your finger right now?”
I looked down at me finger, the rocks on them did look pretty big… Another girl looked at my finger, “You have like a million dollars on your fingers”
My mouth dropped open, “Really?”
she nodded, “So how is he under the covers, is he as big as everyone says?”
These people had to be joking. “umm, can ya’ll show me were the bathroom is?” I asked again. One of them pointed to them. I scurried off without another word
So I made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and applied some lipstick.
“So you’re the new wife?” A random girl asked me. She was caramel skinned, and she had wavy hair that reached her back.
Her dress was a bright red bodycon dress that just about covered her ass.
“Um.. I guess”
“Your just a jump off boo” she smiled, flipping her hair.
“You’re excused little gurl”
I kissed my teeth,
“Honey i’m telling you the truth out here. Everybody remembers me; I was first and I was last” She pulled her dress down and smiled before leaving the bathroom.
I convinced myself I would be civilized and go out there and enjoy my night… But I would ask Chris who Khaina was and why everyone knew her.
I found Chris sipping some wine and talking to a bunch of men.
I waited until he finished talking. A random woman came up to us, “Can I take a picture?” Chris nodded, He put his hands around my waist and we both smiled for the camera.
From the corner of my eye, I could see the girl from the bathroom bore holes into me.
After the woman left, I mustered up all the courage, “Chris who’s Khaina?” I watched his smile drop.
“She’s.. an old girlfriend, I’m not associated with her no more though”
“Why, that’s funny Chris you weren’t saying that when you were hitting it from the back couple weeks back” she said.
Chris’ big ol’ hand was snaked around my waist and his head head was rested on my back. I looked under the covers at his tatted up arms.
I took his arm and tried to move it. He chuckled.
“Chris you going to let go?”
I laughed lightly, “Why?”
“Cause its comfortable.. Besides look how early it is”
I laughed and looked at the time; 6am.
I shut my eyes and let my mind run wild.
Beep, Beep, Beep.
A jarring beeping sound pulled me out of my sweet dreams. I sat up and sighed. I looked to my side and noticed it was empty.
Beep, Beep, Beep.
I climbed out of bed and followed the beeping sound into the kitchen. Chris was sat on the floor with his face buried in his hands.
He jumped up and flashed me a smile. “Morning,” He turned around and held out a yellow mess on a plate.
“What is it?” I asked, trying not to be sick at just the sight of it.
“Scrambled eggs” He said smiled widely.
“Oh…” I didn’t know how to react. Was he kidding me? Maybe he was. I tried to keep my expression neutral.
“They’re…nice. Why did you, uh, make them for me?”
Make was a bad word to describe whatever he had done to the little curdled thing on the plate he held before me. I was suddenly convinced it wasn’t an egg.
“You’re never eating, so I figured I’d make you something to eat,” He thrust the plate under my nose.
I looked at the plate doubtfully. Chris was grinning sweetly at me as showed me the fork in his hand. It was hard to say no to him, especially when he acted like this.
Flashing him a queasy smile, I took the fork from his hand and stuck it into the plate. I frowned.
“Why are there egg shells in this?”
“Aren’t there meant to be?” he asked, uncertain. I stared at him. He had to be joking.
I looked up at him. He was smiling so hard.
I glared at him, crossing my arms. He was totally kidding me now.
“I’m not eating that, Chris. It’s disgusting.”
Hiss smile faded and he looked crushed. “What?”
“Throw it away. I can’t believe you were trying to get me to eat that”
His eyes hardened into a glare.
“Fuck that,” he said, quietly. “I’ve aint never cooked before. You are the first person I’ve ever cooked for.”
I blinked. “What?”
“All morning, I slaved,” he snapped, turning around and starting to walk away, further into the kitchen.
I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Wow. I was dumbstruck. He’d really done that for me? My heart squeezed in my chest.
He stomped over to the trashcan.
“You ain’t finna eat it, So i’ll throw it away”
“No!” I said, grabbing his wrist, stopping him. “I’ll eat it! Please, Chris I want to eat it!”
I immediately regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth, but it was too late. Chris stared at me with eyes suddenly filled with hope.
“Sure,” I said, laughing. “Give me that thing.”
I stabbed a fork into the plate, and lifted a small blob of egg. Just as it touched my lips, I saw the look on his face. His chocolate eyes were wide with happiness, as he watched me intently.
I swallowed the egg bravely, my expression not even faltering as it made its way down my throat. I smiled widely at him.
“Delicious.” I choked out.
He opened the window and let some of the smoke surrounding the kitchen out.
Finally the beeping sound stopped.
“My Ma wants to take you out today.. After collage and shit”
I nodded as his eyes watched me.
I forced another piece of ‘egg’ into my mouth.
He grabbed the briefcase from the counter and exited the room. He shouted ‘Bye’ before shutting the door behind him.
I got up and threw the remains of the yellow blob into the trash.
I grabbed my bag, ready to leave. But as another wave of nausea hit me, I was forced to lean against the wall to stop my knees from giving out. I breathed heavily. I wish I really hadn’t eaten the egg now. I wanted to vomit.
Infact; I needed to vomit.
But the smile Chris had given me whilst I was eating it…If I’d known he was capable of that expression, I would have never agreed to any of this.
He was killing me.
I imagined his smile again, and smiled myself.
It took me a while to realize I’d been sitting there, grinning like an idiot for about ten minutes.
Shit, I was going to be late.. As usual.
I watched as the taxi pulled up outside the building. I opened the door and gave the driver the school address.
I pulled out a random note I found in my pocket and placed it in his hand.
Quickly i shuffled towards the gates.
His eyes met mine.
I rolled my eyes and picked up my pace. “Damn ma, so you just goin’ to walk past me?” He spoke softly.
I kissed my teeth, “So you can question my marriage? No thank you”
“I’m sorry for that,” His voice sincere.
I bit my lip, thinking about it; one more chance.
“Ight, but dont try that shit again”
I looked at the watch fixed on the wall.
I was even more late now, I sighed and walked to my lesson.
* * *
I walked out the school gates, Trying to keep my self from completely being sick all over the place from Chris’ foul food.
Chris’ Mother was stood outside her car smiling.
She pulled me in for a hug, “Hey Honey”
I took in her scent, She always smelled amazing.
“How you coping?” She asked as she opened her car door. I walked round to the other side and sat down. “Alright.. Chris is being… sweet, supportive” I lied.
He was, Trying. I guess.
She nodded, “Did he tell you about the Charity event we have this weekend?”
I shook my head no.
She kissed he teeth playfully. I laughed. She pulled up to a big ass mall I’d never seen before.
She smiled widely before grabbing my hand and pulling me into the mall.
We had been into every high street store in this big ass mall and Mama J wouldn’t take no for an answer. Whatever she though was cute, or nice she would take out her flashy credit card and then give me the bag.
I made a mental note to myself to pay Chris back every single dime his mother had spent on me.
It wasn’t real.
It was getting dark now, so I knew it was past 6PM.
Mama J dragged me into HERVÉ LÉGER. Just by its name I could tell it would be mega expensive.
She pulled all sorts of dresses from the racks without even looking twice at them.She placed them all in my hands, “These people will judge you so much - you have to look, act and be like a lady.”
I nodded. She pulled out a random pair of shoes. “Your a beautiful girl, but the media will rip both you and Christopher apart.. They will find anything to destroy what you have together”
I nodded again, I felt soo bad.
Another wave of nausea hit me. “You okay baby?” I sucked it up and smiled.
She carried on blabbing on, about how my public image must remain untainted.
I took everything in. I looked around the store and saw his blue orbs again - I swear he’s stalking me.
Chris was tapping my shoulder. It was no use. I refuse to get out of bed. Last night I had cried myself to sleep.
I can’t believe I forgot. I forgot.
I wanted to go back to sleep and never ever wake up.
I was so busy with everything else I forgot that my mother was being buried today.
Chris tapped me one last time before giving up. Finally. I felt like shit. I didn’t want to get up and face everyone. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being buried six foot under. Under some soil. Next to daddy and Granny.
“How do you think your family would feel if you didn’t turn up?”
I buried my face into my soaking pillow. “I dont have any family left!” I screamed.
It had to be another one of my fucked up dreams. It wasn’t real, It wasn’t real. It wasn’t reality.
Chris sat on the edge of the bed and held my chin up, “Just come, do it for her. We’ll come home straight away.”
I rolled out of bed and got into the shower. I stood there letting the water just roll off my body, I was numb.
I managed to shower properly and wrap a towel around me. I brushed my teeth.
I looked at the mirror and almost broke it. My eyes were swollen and red, because I was crying so much.
My cheeks had become a permeate scarlet red. My wavy hair from yesterday had changed back into its curly state.
I put on some underwear and got dressed in black - at least I think I did.
I placed some sunglasses on my nose to hide my eyes.
* * *
Who thinks of that bullshit? I sat on the front pew with Chris next to me, Mama Jay on my right.
My heart was shattered. Into billions of pieces.
Everyone. Everyone who ever knew my mother was here. I didn’t know half of them but it was okay.
Jayden, Meiko and Yoshi were sat next to Chris along with Farah,
It was almost abnormal.
My mother was in that casket - She was pale. Not her usual golden glow. Her big curls were lifeless now. They didn’t exists nomore.
Her make up was still on. How she usually did it. I guess the person who dressed her for this day made sure she looked normal. Life like.
Thats what scared me. In seconds I pictured her with my kids. I imagined her arms around Jayden when she found out he came out.
Oh she’d be happy. The grief I felt was unlike anything I’d known before. It was a black hole at the pit of my stomach, drinking me up, suffocating me.
I sat through the whole ceremony with my eyes bolted to her coffin as I clung onto Chris like a wet shirt.
Everyone was piling into their cars, awaiting the time when we’d all make the trip to the cemetery where all my other family was buried.
The whole congregation dressed in black. Looking depressing and morbid.
We’d dig my mother a hole in the earth and reluctantly leave her with nature and time. We’d say a prayer and murmur our goodbyes.
I spotted ‘Keith’ in the crowed. He saw me, too. His perfect lips parted into an apologetic smile.
I managed a weak smile before Chris tugged at my arm. I sat in the car and watched us pull away from everyone else.
My vision became shaky as the pastors voice became louder.
Some wept, Some stood still; shaking their heads at the squared hole in the ground. Keith was opposite, he threw me a sympathetic look.
The pastor than led us into prayer. “Our Father…” He started as everyone joined in.
The words could barley come out of my mouth.
She taught me it. She called it the Lords Prayer; if I was ever upset or scared I should close my eyes and say those exact words. Thats what she would tell me.
As we got closer to the end of the prayer, it seemed to be getting quieter.
I stood there, Numb as hell. Chris tried to dry my tears but new ones just fell. By this time my tears had dried out all I could do was stare.
Stare as they lowered the casket deeper into the ground.
Screams were coming from my moma’s closest friends.
This is it. I am an orphan. I only have my brother left.
I broke down completely. I felt like someone was ripping my insides out and stomping on them. Stomping my heart flat.
My sobbing got louder. Only if I could see them once more
My brain was still wrapping around the fact that shes gone. I would never see her again. Ever.
I wonder what it felt like for her. Her lifeless body just in that cold casket.
Another loved one dead.
My heart sank as I heard the last ‘thud’, she’s fully six foot under.
Sarah McLachlan’s Angel
blasted through the dull atmosphere; Causing more people to cry.
I watched as people started grabbing dirt and dashing it at the casket.
I stood a safe distance away from all the activity.
After the burial, everyone. I mean everyone went to the family house.
Mama J got the maids to cook everyone a meal. Everyone sat in the back garden; talking amongst themselves. I guess this is were we celebrate her life.
The maids brought the food out. I didn’t eat. I wasn’t hungry; Just like I wasn’t yesterday, or the day before that. I gave my food to Chris, who was glad to have extra food for his big ol’ self.
As everyone enjoyed food I exused myself.
I sat on the stairwell and closed my eyes. I just wanted to escape all the drama. I heard footsteps but I ignored them. Someone sat next to me.
“Are you okay?” A male voice said. It sounded familiar.
I opened my eyes and they locked in his.
“I’m okay” I smiled,
“Sorry for randomly coming to the funeral. Mijo told me about it and I just wanted to show my support, you know?”
he nodded, “I was expecting that call last night”
“I was… Busy”
“Ah,” He smiled “So you love him?”
“You don’t do you?”
“What you marry him for? Money? Fame? Cause I can give you all of that”
“Chris? Obviously I love him”
He nodded, “Why it take you so long to realize who I was talking about? I mean, If you loved him you would have answered straight away”
I frowned and got up. “I don’t have time for this”
Stupid ass. To think I though he was nice.
By the time I got back to everyone else. Chris was out of his seat and was ready to leave.
Just in time.
I changed into a random tank top and jogging bottoms. I got comfy on the water bed and stayed on ‘my side’ Chris strolled out the closet into the living room.
“Where you going?” I asked.
“Sofa” He mumbled.
“Can you sleep here.. with me? Please?” I blurted, without thinking.
He manoeuvred his body toward the other side of the bed.
I moved my body so I was facing him, he too was facing me.
I studied his face; his faint freckles. His dark eyes, his pink lips and his amazing curls.
“Christopher why do you have a hole in your nose?” I questioned.
His fingers moved to his nose, “Oh, just some stupid shit I did when I was young”
“What did you do?”
“My.. Ex wanted to get her nose pierced, she was scared and she wanted me to do it with her. I didn’t want to cause that would make anyone suspicious. But when you love someone like that you’d do anything for them”
I nodded, and looked at my nails. Because it’d be awkward if we were still staring at each other.
“Why you take it out?”
I looked over to him. His ass had managed to fall asleep in the space of two seconds.
I laughed silently to myself and fell asleep.
The press had died down by the time Chris & everyone came home.
Chris pecked me on the cheek.
“Did you find anything?”
“No, so they’re having this house” he said like its nothing.
“Every things already been paid for. We just need to take our things and move somewhere else” he shrugged.
He smiled, leaving me confused.
“You like it?” Chris asked, flicking on the lights.
I blinked hard, when the shiny light illuminated the penthouse.
It had only been hours since Chris had told me we were ‘moving’
It was beautiful. It had a huge living space, with an amazing high ceiling. All the furniture was modern and artiste. It had a different feel to the ‘old house’ the old one felt more homely than this one. This one was more shiny. Even the wood was shiny.
I stared at a painting hanging on the wall, trying to remember where I had seen it before - the I remembered. It was a Monet, the exact painting I had studied in class. There was a signature in the corner. My eyes grew wide, this is an original painting and its just hanging like its nothing right here, on this wall?!
These people have so much money to spend.
More proof that I didn’t belong in this world. I was the type of person who was destined to see art like this in text books, never in real life. Hanging on ‘our’ wall.
My eyes fell on the window.
Slowly, I walked towards it, my hands in front of me. My finger-tops made contact with the cold glass. I gasped. I walked closer to the window. For a minute, it was like the glass wall wasn’t even there. I felt like I was floating above the buildings, roads, cars, the clouds and people.
Chris voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “Welcome home.”
“Oh my gosh.”
Chris laughed at my facial expression.
“We ain’t got time, I’m taking you to meet a couple business partners” he handed me a box with. ‘Coco Chanel’ printed on it.
I glanced at Chris, “I don’t know if its your size, my mama just said she’s sure it will” he shrugged.
I took the box to the ‘bedroom’
I opened it slowly, trying not to ruin it. Inside it was a purple dress.
I closed the door behind me and took in the bedroom.
It was at least 5 times the size of my old bedroom. The bed was the biggest bloody thing I’ve ever seen.
I moved cautiously around it, eyeing it. I sat on it and the mattress wobbled - a water bed. I ran my fingers through the soft duvet and pillows.
Far too many pillows, there were at least 10.
I shook my head and ripped my shirt off, desperate to get changed.
I tapped my finger on the side of the chair, pounding a steady rhythm. How long do females need to get dressed? I checked my watch. Seven-Fifty.
We were going to be late.
I was taking her to meet a couple business partners. I knew my dad would like it. And because I actually hadn’t taken her anywhere yet.
The bedroom door clicked. “Come on, Jade” I called, standing up. I was already changed. “People are waiting”
Jade was beautiful. She looked almost as she did at the wedding.
The purple set off her figure perfectly. She was thick, but not to the extent where she looked trashy. The dress fell down to just above her knee, revealing just enough. She had done something to her hair to make it wavy and parted it in the middle.
She stood awkwardly. The I’m-not-used-to-wearing-a-dress way.
Eh, she’d grow out of it.
My ma is amazing, picking out the right sizes for her.
I pulled out a chair for her. I had made reservations at Per Se for us all.
Jade smiled at the people sat in front of us. He smiled back but the rest stared blankly at her.
Why the fuck is he here.
The I smiled, to be polite. The guy sat at the end; was beautiful. I know you don’t use beautiful to describe a male but he just was. His eyes sparkled under the bright lights.
The rest stared blankly at me. I shrugged it off and forgot about it.
The waiter came up to the table.
“Yeah we’ll have an Sassicaia” Chris said.
He nodded and wrote it down, “anything else?”
Chris shook his head and the waiter left.
“Jade my nigga” Mijo boomed.
”Oh Hey,” I said hopelessly, I Didn’t know whether to act ‘professional’ or not.
“Hello..”The guy on the end spoke up.
I smiled, even his voice made me happy.
Chris clenched his jaw.
I ignored him, he wanted to take me out but be jealous when i talked to his business partners? OK.
“Chris, You want to introduce me to your wife?” The guy with the eyes said, Christopher clenched his jaw.
“Ask Mijo, his ass brought you here”
I frowned. He didn’t have to be so rude. I ignored his ass some more and focused on the people infront of us.
I wanted to know the guys name.
The waiter came back with the unpronounceable wine, breaking the awkward silence.
Soon enough more people came to our table. Two guys in suits. Apparently they had something to do with Blackberry. They wanted to do buisness.
I honestly didn’t know why I was there, the tension between Chris and the guy with the eyes was huge and the conversation wasn’t flowing. It was more forced.
They were talking about money and other partners, honestly; i didn’t care. The subject changed to future plans with the business.
Mijo coughed, as If he wanted the subject to change. Chris didn’t look like he cared, The guys from blackberry looked confused as fuck and the guy with the eyes just mugged the shit out of Chris for whatever irrelevant reason.
After dinner, When Chris was paying for everyone’s, The guy with the beautiful eyes passed me a card. His name and his number was printed on it. ‘Keith Brown’ I put it in my jacket pocket. Keith licked his lips and smiled.
His smile is contagious, I smiled back. “Call me” My smile faded quickly. “I just want to be friends, ma ” He explained.
I nodded. I found myself getting lost in his eyes. As soon as he saw Chris approaching he walked into the opposite direction.
“What he say to you?” Chris asked suspiciously.
“Nothing, He just said he enjoyed the dinner” I lied, putting my hands in my pocket, Just to make sure the card was still there.
Chris raised an eyebrow before opening the car door for me and jogging to the other side to get to the wheel.
“Jade, you know its your mothers funeral tomorrow, right?”
yes it is (:
Mondayyyy :) &Thanks :*
I woke up the usual time; 7AM
Most Of my life I’d been waking up that time, my brain was programmed to wake up exactly then.
I turned my head, Jade and Meiko asleep.
Jade looked so peaceful in her sleep, she was perfect.
Meiko looked low-key like her, they had the same full lips.
I guess that’s from her brother. I was fine with him living here. As long as the nigga don’t tear the house down or does some ratchet ghetto shit here I don’t care. He’s the only family Jade has left, so I had to let him in.
I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and did my morning routine.
I put on more casual clothes, today I wasn’t working a full day. I had to help Jayden and his family get a home.
By half seven I was done. I took the cover off Jade. I found it semi hard not to touch her.
I tapped her shoulder. Her beautiful eyes fluttered open. “Work?”
I nodded, she smiled.
Her smile was beautiful too; even when she was half asleep.
She waved at me as I left the room. I took that route to work that I knew too well.
I arrived at 7:55, like I did every morning.
Greeted by Gina, my secretary who always over dressed. Either her skirt slit was too high or her shirt was buttoned down too low. I fucked her once, but we never fucked again.
She was wasting time now, I was staying faithful.
She came in and told me everything had to do today.
I checked my emails for new clients.
I remembered Jade’s birthday was coming up soon, I was going to take that opportunity to organise some things for her.
“Gina, cancel all my appointments for august 4th. I don’t care how important”
She opened her mouth, Her mouth to say something. “I don’t care, reschedule!”
She nodded and scurried out my office.
I phoned my dad and told him to get the driver to pick up Jade.
Everyone was out the house, it was just me. Jayden, Farah, Chris and the Girls were looking at new houses.
I decided to be Anti-Social and not join them. Though it would be nice.
I climbed upstairs and went into the closet. I sat on the floor and pulled out a red shoebox covered in glitter with a piece of paper stuck to it, with the words ‘Jades amazing life’ written on in bright green pen.
I smiled. I took the box and placed it on the bed. I opened it and took out the first few pictures.
Pictures of the happy times. My whole life in pictures lay in front of me, from being a tiny baby in my moms hands to the picture of me and Jayden on my first day at school.
The picture of the last Christmas we spent as a family, Jayden, Me, my mother, My dad, both Grandma’s and Both grandfathers and all auntie and uncles.
Wow, we looked so happy.
Back then, the least of my worries were choosing which colour socks I wore to school.
I felt myself tearing up. I blinked. No one was home, but I don’t want to cry, no time to dwell on the past now.
I took out my phone and found ‘mommy bear’ I dailed the number.
I prayed after each ring she would just pick up and laugh down the speaker. And tell me how this was all a joke. And I could come home. And she knew everything.
If only. Her phone went to voice mail. ‘Hello, sorry I could not answer you call. If it was important, please text me instead or leave a message.” It beeped and I cut off the phone.
I rubbed my eyes. Trying to erase all evidence of me crying. I was going to explore this place. I won’t sit here and let myself be caged in.
I closed the box and put it back in its place. I put on a black pair of jeans and a black top.
I tied my hair back and sat some sunglasses on my hair.
I opened the door.
My eyes grew wide as paparazzi yelled at me and each other. I pulled my sunglasses down to shield all the flashes.
What the actual fuck was going on?
“Is it true Christopher took you away for a romantic rendezvous?”
“Did Christopher really get into a fight for you?”
“How are you finding life married to a multi-billionaire?”
I frowned at the questions being shouted at me.
How did these people get here?
I ran back inside. I phoned Charmaine.
“Charmaine there’s a whole load a paparazzi out here, what am I supposed to do?”
She laughed, “I’m surprised they didn’t come earlier”
I screwed her “how did they find this place?
“Don’t worry about it, that’s what they spend their lives doing. They’ll leave in a couple days, if your lucky - hours” she laughed. “Did you answer any of their questions?”
“Good, but be prepared for mediatakeout to start bitching about you..” She laughed again.
I sighed heavily. “Okay, bye”
I cut off the phone and sat back in the sofa. My phone vibrated, signalling a text.
FatAss<3: pack only essentials, were moving.
I swear, this guy is always surprising me.
My ass needs to be revising &Shit but im here on tumblr not doing any thing productive.
&I’m finna update tonight &Friday&Erryday next week cause im off school.
P.S; I love how ya’ll are preachingg in my ask, it gives me life. lmfao.
P.S.S; I know some of ya’ll be silent reading &that. iont bite! Ask me anything, talk that talk to meee yahhh.
P.S.S.S; The next few chapters will have ya’ll sitting on the edge of your motherlovin seats. I cried writing one of ‘emm. #JustSayinn
-Yeah Okay Bye.
Oh yeahh, I live in London so I live in a diffrent time zone to most of you… Ta
We pulled up to the house. Jayden and his family were stood outside it, with about 6 bags.
He got out early, that’s always a good thing. And he’ll be able to see his daughters and his girl. And I’ll have someone to actually call my ‘family.’
But I couldn’t help but hope this was a joke, I was happy without him for so long, and now I would have to look over my shoulder, just to make sure he wouldn’t kill Chris.
I’m being stupid, I know but it its true. When your dreams are so real you’d worry too.
Chris introduced himself to Jayden and his family. He then went inside.
Jayden smiled at me, I smiled back at him and pulled him in for a hug.
“Its been long time, J!” He laughed,
I smiled nervously. It was my fault I hadn’t seen him in a long time.
“How was it?” I whispered.
“Better than I expected, shame I didn’t get to see ma one last time..” He trailed off.
I laughed nervously. “So where you going to stay?”
He shrugged,”can we stay with you for while?”
I froze in my place. And then hesitated, I would be terrified with him around Chris. Chris poked his head through the front door.
“Yeah, you can stay. We got a lot of room”
My head snapped back in Chris’ direction. He smiled at me. He took their bags and showed them their ‘new room’
Jayden’s kids; Meiko & Yoshi started jumping on the cream sofa’s and screaming the house down.
This is why I hate kids.
Jayden’s girlfriend came into the living room; telling Meiko & Yoshi to calm down.
“Its a really nice place you got here, Jade. You’re lucky!”
Everyone seemed to be telling me that, I really didn’t feel lucky at all.
I nodded, I forgot her name so I decided to keep quite.
“You know, your mother was a lovely woman, she raised you right”
“Every mother wants what’s best for their children” I said.
“So are ya’ll planning to have kids?” She asked. The one question I didn’t want anyone to ask.
The thought of me having sex freaked me out, let alone with Chris.
“Not yet” I laughed.
“Why? You both look ready, and I see the way he looks at you.. He looks like he wants to make babies all the time” she laughed.
“He looks like he wants to take you down every time you walk into a room”
I laughed nervously, she was just saying that.
“Mommy, I’m hungry” Meiko whined. I sighed in relief, at least I don’t have to keep having this conversation.
I lifted up Meiko and placed her on my hip. She was heavier than I expected, for a little girl I took her to the kitchen and opened the snack cupboard. Chris insisted it was packed with candy and potato chips.
“Tell aunt Jade what you want”
Meiko shyly pointed at some strawberry pop tarts.
I put Meiko on the counter and reached for the box. I pulled one out the box and put it in the toaster.
“Is this our new house?”
“Yes, only for a little while.”
“I don’t like our old house” she said, shaking her head
She pouted, “Because everyday people come to our house. And I don’t want them to come. They always noisy and take our things, make mommy cry”
“You won’t have to worry about that anymore” I reassured her.
“Because daddy’s here?”
“Where did daddy go?”
She was too young to know where Jayden went.
“Daddy went to school, to learn a few lessons”
The toaster popped up with Meiko’s pop tart. I got a plate out and placed the hot pop tart on it.
I got a cup from the dishwasher and filled half of it with water.
I put Meiko on my hip again and took the plate, and the cup. And balanced it all.
I moved to the dining room. I put Meiko in a chair and the pop tart in front of her. I watched her as I sipped my water.
She started playing with her food and talking to it. She was so happy, she didn’t know about the problems she would face when she was older.
“Where is grandma?” She asked randomly.
I hesitated before I spoke. “She’s gone to sleep, baby”
“Why was mommy crying? She will wake up, right?”
“Next time you see mommy crying, tell her to stop.. Okay?” I said, completely ignoring herr question.
She shoved the last of her pop tart in her mouth. She rubbed the crumbs on her trousers.
I got up and took her plate. As well as my cup, and put them in the sink to be rinsed later on. I looked behind me and expected her to be there, she wasn’t. I rushed back to the dining room, she was sat on the chair mumbling the dora the explorer theme tune to herself.
She put her arms out as soon as she seen me.
“Are you kidding me?”
She shook her head. I put her on my back and took her upstairs with me.
I put her down on the bed, found my school bag and got my work out; I needed to catch up.
I sat her on the bed and started working on that poem thing me and Charmaine should have done.
I started writing.
*insert poem here*
I lost track of time and just wrote, all my feelings exploded onto the page..
I looked over my shoulder, Meiko was fast sleep on the bed, her legs curled up in a ball and her thumb in her mouth.
I looked at the watch that was hanging from the wall, it was midnight.
I changed into my pyjama’s. I made a small wall from pillows; so Meiko wouldn’t fall.
I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I felt someone tapping on my thigh.
I opened my eyes. Chris was standing before me in a shirt and tie.
I smiled, he smiled back. “You look like a grown ass man”
“I am a grown ass man”
He kissed my forehead. “You gon’ have to look after my babies like that one day” he pointed to Meiko, who was still asleep, but somehow she was on my chest.
I laughed nervously, he didn’t mean it.
“Aight bye” he walked out adjusting his belt.
I checked the time; 7:30. Five more minutes.
I closed my eyes again.
* * *
I sat in class tapping my pen. This was boring as fuck.
We had final exams coming up, I needed to concentrate but it was just boring.
I always revised like a bitch so I knew I would be safe.
My friend Anita started talking to me about random shit and how she met this guy yesterday.
“Class dismissed” the teacher finally said.
I packed my things into my bag. Anita followed close behind me, I knew what she was like; she wanted me to tell her what we did on the honeymoon.
“Oh yeah! You know Mina gave head to Cody?”
I was shocked, I haven’t heard any juicy gossip in a while.
“Uh, uh I thought she was dating Jamal?”
“Bitch that’s what I thought, so Jamal was getting mad at Cody and during this Mina was giving head to Frank!”
“Nu uh! That’s messed up!” I opened the main door. Chris’ car pulled up in the school driveway. Anita winked, “Bye, Trick” she said before patting my butt.
I laughed, “Bye, slut”. I walked Into the car park and opened the car door.
Chris turned and started driving in the direction of thE new house.
Chris dropped me home and drove off again.
I opened the front door. Meiko ran towards me.
“Look what I drew Aunt J!”
I looked at the paper she had given me. It said my family in the corner.
In the corner of the picture, a orange stick man with black trousers and a red shirt. It had black hair. With ‘uncool Kris’ underneath it. Next to it was another orange stick man with black circles on its head that stopped at its feet. Wearing a green triangle dress with ‘Anti L’ underneath, I guessed it was supposed to be a J. Next to ‘me’ was a small ball thing with brown afro. and next to the brown ball thing was another one with black afro hair. With Yo5y and m3 underneath.
I laughed, “its good baby, where mummy and daddy?”
She frowned, “can you be my mommy?”
I laughed, “no sweetie. You have a mommy”
“I like you better” she pouted.
“What do you want to eat?” I said changing the subject.
She put her hands up, asking me to pick her up.
I put her on my hip. And decided I would make Mac&Cheese.
Everyone gathered around the table, Meiko, Yoshi, Jayden & Farah (remembered her name!)
Chris was still at work.
I handed out a bowl of Mac&Cheese. I felt like I was a grown woman catering for my kids; I sounded stupid but I just felt like it.
I wrapped tinfoil around the left overs and put them in the fridge.
I felt arms around my waist. “Where’s mine?”
I shivered at his touch, I think he forgot sometimes that this thing wasn’t serious. I decided I would bring it up later.
“You don’t get none” I smirked.
“Where’s my food woman!” He joked.
He moved to the fridge and admired the picture Meiko had drawn.
“Who drew this?”
“Me! Uncle Chris!” Meiko screamed from the other side of the room.
“You a little artist, damn!”
She ran across the kitchen, he picked her up.
He tickled her, and she squealed.
He was so good with kids.. The mother of his kids would be lucky, Chris would never be a dead beat dad.
Meiko put her hands over her ears, “tell me a secret!”
She was 5, yet she was much more mature than any other five year old I knew.
Chris whispered something in her ear and she squealed again.
“Can I sleep with you and Aunt J at night?” Chris smile faded.
We had decided to keep our distance at night after Barbados, we figured it would be more comfortable for both of us.
We tried to keep it a secret from Jayden and his family cause we didn’t want to raise any suspicion.
I shook my head at Chris. No way was I going through with this.
“Ok” Chris smiled at Meiko and grinned at me.
If nothing happened in Barbados I would have been cool with it, we were sleeping in the same bed at first anyway; but it wasn’t so awkward.
I put the pots & plates into the sink to be rinsed later on.
I wasn’t hungry so I went into ‘our’ bedroom to get some revision done.
At about 9PM, Meiko came in and jumped on the bed like it was a trampoline.
“Time to sleep, Time to sleep!” She shouted. I closed my text book and changed into a random sports bra and shorts.
I tucked Meiko in the middle and I got comfy on one side. As if on cue, Chris walked in topless in just basketball shorts. I closed my eyes, so I wouldn’t stare.
Chris settled on the other side of the bed. He pulled Meiko closer to him, she giggled.
She looked adorable in her one piece pyjamas. She climbed onto his chest.
“I can’t hear your chest pumpin’!” She said excitedly.
She put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. She smiled every time she heard it.
“Aunt J, come hear it!”
“I know what it sounds like Honey” I said laughing, Chris chuckled too.
“No, I want you to hear it!”
I moved closer and pretended to put my head on Chris’ chest. I lay on my stomach watching Meiko, she was fascinated by Chris.
She was always telling me to look at one of his tattoos on his arm, or listen to a secret he was telling her. She’d watched him smile and put her fingers into his dimple. She was just so amazed by Chris.
“I love you uncle Chris” she smiled cutely.
“I love you too baby girl” he made a kissy face and she stuck her finger into his lips.
“I love you, Aunt J” she smiled sweetly.
“I love you too sweetie” I chimed in.
“So everybody loves Meiko?” I laughed,
“Everybody loves Meiko” Chris told her.
“Does Mommy loves Daddy?”
“Very much” I said.
“uncle Chris love Aunt J?”
She smiled, showing her pearly little whites. She was too young to understand the reality of the world.
“Uncle Chris and Aunt J love each other very much!” She squealed.
I pretended like I didn’t hear what she said.
I looked at the time, it was 11:45, way past her bed time.
“You have to sleep now Meiko,” Chris said. As if he was reading my mind.
“Can you sleep with me?”
“We are sleeping with you, sweetie” I smiled at her. Chris put her in the now very small space between us.
He turned off his lamp. It was pitch black.
He sat on the bed quietly, thinking or whatever. His mouth opened, and then closed. “I got something to tell you, man I don’t even how to tell you” I smiled,
“Tell me, I won’t be upset or nothing.. I promise” I figured it couldn’t be that bad
“There is ain’t no easy way to say this so I just will”
“What?!” I was getting excited.
“I just found out today.. She was fine before and I don’t know why she isn’t now”
“Your ma, I don’t know. She got into a car accident on Monday, she was coping fine and now.. Now she-“
I was numb. That was it, just like that.. Another loved one wiped of the face of this earth. First, daddy. Then Grandma Hannah, now my mom. The one person I had left.
I was an orphan. you never think it would happen to you. Ever. You think they’ll live forever, until your kids are 20. She was so young. 46 is nothing. And I didn’t even get to say bye. She thinks I’m living the best life ever. She died thinking I was happy.
By this time I had already cried 2 rivers. Chris wiped away tears that were falling, just so they could be replaced by new ones.
I was hurting so bad. All the deaths were flooding back into my memory. I was too young to understand at 10 where Daddy went. I knew but I just wouldn’t believe.
At 14, my Grandma was my father figure, she was always there for birthdays when my mom wasn’t.
Chris pulled me into a tight hug. “I’m here for you,” he whispered.
Sometimes I think I was born to go through bullshit. So much bullshit.
I made up my mind then, I focus on college, and that’s it.
No friends, no family, no one. If Chris wanted to keep this marriage going, he would have to try harder.
Chris wiped some more tears, “I hate seeing you cry. Stop crying, please..” He pleaded,
“Your mama prolly don’t want to see you like this he continued.
I smiled when he said that, but it was true. He ran his fingers through my messy hair, “aye! Keep smiling”
I grinned. “You hungry?”
I shook my head. “Okay, that means yes”
I laughed at his daftness. I was supposed to be upset but he was making me laugh.
I wiped the rest of my tears and brushed my hair with my fingers.
I changed into an all black outfit. That’s all I will wear until I finish grieving.
Today has been a long day, too long for my liking.
* * *
We sat in first class. I refused to take my sunglasses off. I didn’t want people to see me like this. I didn’t want people to see me as weak. About seven hours through the flight Chris was asleep after his breakfast. I looked to my left, a guy.. In his late 20’s looking at me funny.
My heart beat quickened. He smiled. I smiled back, not wanting to be rude. I looked some where else, but I could feel his eyes on me. I put my hand up, ever so slightly to show him my ring. He then turned his head.
How would she react if she found out about this fake relationship? She’d be disappointed. She would shake her head in disgust.
I should have never ever agreed to go through with this.
I don’t know why I didn’t have these doubts before. I should have thought long-term.
Its not long until people would expect me pop out babies.
I got lost in my thoughts and soon enough we landed back in the USA.
At the airport, Mama J was waiting at the arrival along with Chris’ dad, Luke and Charmaine.
I put my sunglasses on top of my head and smiled. We didn’t have many bags, Chris said he would get our things back into the house.
So we only had one bag between us.
Mama pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair,
“Its okay baby, we’re here for you”
That just made me want to cry all over again, its painful loosing everyone you know in your family.
The whole family piled in a blacked out range rover. I sighed as they all started talking about how happy they were.
Mama J must have noticed and smiled at me sweetly, ”Jade, She’s in a better place now..”
I smiled at her, little did she know.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Chris staring at me.
I ignored it and listened to their chatter about a big charity event or something.
I can’t believe these people even go to charity events..
Finally the car rolled up to their huge house I knew so well.
Everyone got out almost as fast as they all piled in.
Mama J and I were the last to get out. “If you ever, ever need any comforting of some sort.. I’m here. Just take me as your mother. - though I’d never be able to take her place”
She closed the car door behind me. ”I’ll even help with the funeral arrangements - and if your brother needs a place to stay, I’ll arrange that too”
I fixed my eyes on her.
“I will help you with the funeral stuff, you can’t put all that pressure on yourself, and if Jayden needs a place to stay with his girlfriend, I’ll take care of it”
I furred my eyebrows together, “Jayden’s still in jail, how’d you know about him, ma?”
“He came by here, looking for you. Poor soul only had a picture of you when you were about 9”
I stood there, dumbfounded trying to take in what Mama J had just told me. I felt like I was the last one to find out about everything.
She smiled heart warmingly, exactly how my mommy would. I instantly forgot all about Jayden. She rubbed my back and guided me inside. Mama scurried along to the kitchen, Chris got up as soon as we entered the room, and Charmaine wasn’t in the room.
Leaving me and their father. He turned his head sideways and studied my face. I looked at the floor, trying not to make eye contact.
“Why did you deny being together when I asked you?”
Here come the questions.. I felt my cheeks burn. “We just wanted to keep it quite at that time”
He nodded, “so how long has this thing been going on?” He questioned,
I shrugged. “About a year now”
Chris dad raised his eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
I nodded, I was becoming better at lying now. He turned his head to the side and studied some more. “So what are your future plans? - you know, work and that? I believe your at school now?”
I felt like I was at an interview.
“I don’t know, I’m down for whatever. I’ve got a couple weeks left at collage.. Maybe I’ll go to uni..” I trailed off.
Again he nodded. “So are you and Chris contemplating kids yet?”
I felt my cheeks burn, they were probably bright red now.
“Um, we’re waiting until were both ready, were taking things really slow at the moment”
He nodded for the third time. He opened his mouth to ask another question.
I stopped him before he started. “I have to go, bye” I dashed upstairs. I stood at the landing confused; I had only ever been here with Charmaine so I didn’t know which room Chris’ would be. I put my ear againtst the door next to Charnmaines. No noise came out of it, so I slowly creaked the door open.
I put my ear on the door and listened for any signs. It was quite, just a few footsteps could be heard. I knocked on the door.
I opened the door, Chris was on his laptop, working or whatever.
I glanced at me and glued his eyes back on the screen.
“What did I do?”
He shook his head.
He closed his laptop and turned in his chair so he was facing me.
He stared at me, making me feel wired.
I put my hands over my face, “stop looking at me!”
A few seconds later I del Chris’ arms around me. I removed my arms from my face and looked up at him confused.
He laughed at my facial expression. We pulled away from the hug. He took my hand and lead me into another room.
The walls were black and dirty; the floor was old wood that creaked. Dead in the centre of the room stood a wooded staircase. Chris climbed up the stairs and I followed behind him.
The stairs left us in a dark, damp room. Chris wrapped his fingers around my wrists. I was starting to get used to the constant feeling of my spine shivering when chris touched me.
Chris touched something and a tiny door opened. He ducked before going through it. I walked through it without hesitation.
We were stood on the roof of their house, overlooking the beautiful sunset. Two chairs were already set up.
Chris sat on one, and I sat on the one next to it. We both soaked in the view.
For a minute or two either of us talked, we were mesmerised by the sunset.
“How the fuck do you do it?”
I looked in his direction, “what?”
“How do you cope with that much shit in your life?”
“I don’t know.. Shit happens”
“You don’t deserve none of that”
“Yeah, well life’s a bitch..” I said.
“When my cat died when I was 10, I cried like a bitch”
A small laugh escaped my lips. “I don’t know, I’m so numb right now. I don’t know how I’m feeling. They’ve all left me to fend for myself.”
“But they all watching over you right now, you know that?” He said softly.
I nodded. “And they all know that you can cope here alone. You’ve got your brother here, too.”
I smiled weakly, it kind of cheered me up. I knew Jayden would always be there for me, and I couldn’t wait to see him, were ever he was at the moment.
“& I don’t want to see you cry or get upset about your ma, dad or grandma. Because they don’t want to see you like that either”
I just wanted to pull him close and kiss the shit outta him, he was being soo sweet.
There was a silence, not an awkward silence; it was just cause we were lost in our own thoughts.
I brought Jade onto the roof, only one other female had ever been up here with me. But it was better if I didn’t tell her.
I just brought her here because I knew it would calm her a bit, she was so distressed over the death of her ma, I figured she nEeded some calm time.
I don’t know what had gotten into me, usually when a girl cries or is upset in front of me, I’d tell her to get herself together.
But it was different with Jade, shit a lot of things are different with her. Never in my life have I been rejected. Who wouldn’t want me? I’m pure sexiness.
Authors note: -sorry there the Are no pictures, I’m on my phone..
My laptop is broke right now, I tried to post a chapter from my phone but it won’t work. My laptop is getting fixed soon, I’m just not sure when….
I silently cursed myself for letting it go this far. I wanted to keep my virginity till I was married not fake married to Chris.
It didn’t matter to me that he was rich, sexy as hell and had an amazing personality. We aren’t married.
My mother always told me, from the day I turned 10 to cherish that shit like my life depended on it.
I put on a pyjama dress and went into the living room. I found the remote and changed the channel to some TV show I’ve never watched.
Chris strolled into the room without so much even looking at me and strolled back out after he got what he needed.
I don’t even know why his ass was mad at me. He was making it a big deal, he should know I wouldn’t go through with it. I told him I wanted to wait. In fact I should be angry at him for being such a thirsty ass giant.
I wish my mom was with me right now to guide me.. She always seems to know what to do.
When Jayden first got locked up she told me to keep my head high, and people were going to talk but I shouldn’t let them get to me.
Her an Mama J would be such great friends.
I got up and brushed my teeth. Chris wasn’t in the bedroom. I poked my head through the living room door and Chris had turned the sofa into a bed and settled on it.
I shrugged and got underneath the soft bedsheets.
If his yellow ass wanted to be difficult, that’s fine with me. - Two can play that game, after all.
I shivered underneath the bedsheets and fell sleep.
The sweet smell of breakfast tickled my nose. I opened my eyes and before me lay a note, hand written by Christopher.
Ayy, I’m sorry for last night.. I just had so much shit on my mind and I needed a way to let it out. When you’re ready call me. I got to tell you something.
I weakly smiled. On the side table was a burnt pancake, a fried egg and two and a half strips of bacon.
I smiled at his effort. That boy probably never cooked anything in his life.
But I was still not forgiving him for his disrespect. What he’s doing is cute, but its foolish. Food doesn’t win me over.
I ate a bit of the semi-burnt pancake and quickly regretted it. What ever he made that pancake with wasn’t something humans can eat.
I pushed the plate to the side and jumped out of bed and went to the shower.
I did my morning routine and changed a bikini with shorts on top. I was going to the beach, whether Chris liked it or not.
If he can leave me in this hotel by myself I can go to the beach myself.
I got out my phone book and dialled my ma’s number, I haven’t heard from her in a while.
The phone started beeping.
The door swung open and Chris stood in front of me. He opened his mouth to say something. I put my finger on my lips and mouthed ‘Mom’ his eyes grew wide and snatched the phone away from me.
Was he crazy? I mugged the shit out him.
“What are you doing?” I spat
“Nothing” he grinned at me.
“Chris give me the phone”
I screwed him. “Okay, bye” I got up ready to leave to the beach.
”Where you going?”
“Just.. Nothing” I said, copying his response to me.
“Hol’ up, I’m coming too”
I opened the hotel door. Chris grabbed my hand.
“Don’t touch me” I spat at him.
“Listen..” He began.
“Move, Chris. I have nothing to say to you”
“Listen to me!”
“Go away!” I yelled.
“Chris, I don’t want to”
“I’m sorry, man let me talk to you”
I sighed deeply and sat on the bed as Chris get dressed or whatever. I didn’t want to act like a bitch, but he was being a total ass for no reason.
He didn’t understand how much I needed my mom right now and for his own selfish reasons he won’t let me use the phone.
Anger started building up in me. He was putting me through all this shit for nothing. This fake wedding thing, then pressuring me, now not letting me speak to my mom.
I wanted to cry, you see, when you’re five you always think you would be a princess on your wedding day walking down the aisle with prince charming, but its all bullshit.
And how you live happily ever after? That’s bullshit too.
Chris lazily walked into the room, in a Lakers basketball Jersey with the matching basketball shorts. I must say, he did suit them. He had a towel wrapped around his neck.
I stopped staring and picked up my beach bag. I quickly walked out the room, leaving Chris to follow.
He caught up, “Why you walkin’ so fast, ma?”
“I’m not, you’re walking slow” I said matter of factly.
I scurried past some men sat on the wall.
”Aye!” One of the men shouted. I turned around to see what he wanted. Chris caughted up again and looked at them too.
”Am not trying to Bad mout or Bruk up de relation, let it be breda to breda,” He began.
He put his hand in a come here motion. Chris jogged towards him. I stood and waited for him to tell him what ever he was going to tell Chris. I folded my arms.
I watched the man next to the guy talking to Chris smile. Chris took a step back and got ready to walk back to me.
The first guy shouted something, Chris turned again and punched him point blank in the face.
My hands covered my mouth. Chris swung at the second guy.
I watched the fight unfold in front of me. I didn’t know what to do, weather to run and tell somebody or just leave it.
I closed my eyes, Praying it was just another dream.
I opened my eyes three seconds later, Chris was on the floor with his eyes squeezed closed. He was in pain.
I ran over to him. My eyes scanned over the place, hoping someone could help.
”Chris, get up.. Please..”
Chris used his arms to lift himself off the ground. He groaned in pain. He took of his lakers shirt and handed to me.
“Put it on” I took it from him and slipped it over my skimpy outfit.
Chris put his big ass arms over my shoulder and used me for support.
We limped back to the hotel together. Chris leaned on one of the elevator walls and sighed deeply.
“What happened?” I asked.
He smacked his teeth, “nothing”
“well nobody asked you to go over there.” He mumbled some shit. As soon as the lift doors opened I quickly walked out. Leaving him to get out himself, I wasn’t going to let him disrespect.
I stood outside the door with my arms folded and waited for him to open the door. He smacked his teeth again. I smacked my teeth back at him.
He unlocked the door and I stormed in, going straight to the balcony. A Little girl with afro puffs noticed me standing there and waved. I looked down and smiled at her, then waved.
I wrapped a towel around my waist and tired to manoeuvre my body into the bedroom. She was standing over the balcony, doing what ever females do.
I wasn’t meant to lash out at her like that, I needed a way to forget this shit. But I understand why she’s angry, I’d be angry at me too. I started to feel bad for her, dropping her into this shit.
She opened the glass door.
“Jade…” I began. she glanced at me and carried on walking to where ever she was going.
“I have nothing to say to you, Chris” she mumbled.
She turned around, “Sorry. Aight, sorry.” Her face softened.
“Go away,” she said lowly.
She walked out. I put on some boxers and some tracksuit bottoms. I didn’t bother with a top because of the scars I had on my back.
she was sat on the sofa, with her legs stretched out on them. She was still working my shirt, she was filling it out. She wears it better than I do.
Her hands were over her eyes. I stood over her, “Sorry..” She looked me dead in the eyes,
“I heard you first time” I frowned, there she goes again, being stupid for no reason.
”.. I forgive you.” she whispered.
I smiled. “They fucked up your back, didn’t they?”
She followed me back into the bedroom.
“No its not, I feel like its my fault”
I collapsed on the bed. I felt relieved that we sorted it out. I shut my eyes.
A few minutes later I felt someone’s small ass body straddle me from the back. I felt a cold paste like substance on my back.
She started rubbing in the paste into my back, massaging my scratched up back. She began rubbing circles up and down the sides of my spine. She used the palm of her hands to rub long lines up my back.
“Is it better?”
“Fuck yeah” I exclaimed. She laughed, and got off my back and sat beside me.
She moved her head to the side and just looked at me.
“You’re freckles are cute!” She cooed. She put her small soft hands on both sides of my face.
“Nigga there’s nothing cute about me. Only sexiness”
She giggled. “Cocky freckle faced freak” she mumbled.
I chuckled at her randomness.
We talked about everything under the sun, and I was feeling like I’ve known him all my life, we had so much in common.
When you think about it, you’d never think I would have anything in common with this guy.
Chris’ phone rang. “Hello?” He answered. What ever the person was telling him must have been serious because his face quickly fell. He hung up and thought about what he was going to say.
* * *
I lay on the sofa thinking about how to tell her.
Man I understand why they want me to tell her because I’m the one she’s supposed to ‘love’
She don’t love me and I don’t love her. She loves her ma and if someone told me my mom was in an accident I would stop what I had to do and fuck up who ever did it to her.
And she’s so happy. I’ve pulled her into all this shit. I shouldn’t have asked her to do it. She would be home with her ma.
I’m finna take her out and tell her. I got up from the sofa and crept to the bedroom, I didn’t know what the fuck she was doing in there. I quietly opened the door.
She was looking through her phone. I quickly took her phone away, I don’t want her to find out through a text.
She furrowed her eyebrows together.
”No phones on holiday” I smiled, ”Aye, and get dressed we going out soon” She rolled her yes playfully and nodded.
She got up, got some things from the closet and went into the bathroom. I put her phone in my pocket. My phone vibrated, signalling a text. Khaina’s name flashed across my iphone screen.
Everyone was out, Chris was with Jade, My mama was at the hospital and Dad was working; as usual.
I got up off the sofa, ”Nigga you want anything?” I asked Luke.
He shook his head. I proceeded to the kitchen. That’s what I liked about him, He wasn’t demanding and thuggish. He was sweet and sincere and unlike the rest of the guys out here he wasn’t afraid to show me his feelings. I smiled when I thought about the fact that we would be alone for a week. Alone from the bullshit in this town.
I glanced at the local newspaper that was sitting on the counter. I flipped through the picture untill I spotted a picture of me and Luke holding hands. That’s all they do, these bitch ass cunts have nothing better to do than criticize.
I was pulled out my thoughts by the door bell ringing, My head snapped to the direction of the door.
You see, Daddy always told me and Chris from a young age to always open the door when someone was at it. It could be someone important trying to reach him.
Thats how shallow he was. He never gave a fuck. A rapist could be standing at the door.
I dashed out the kitchen.
”You want me to open it?” Luke said. I shook my head, I don’t need more bullshit piled on me.
I pulled down his shirt. I don’t know why I was wearing it in the first place anyway - It was just comfy. I pulled it down so it wasn’t showing my legs so much.
I opened the door with a smile. It quickly faded when I saw who was standing there. He was pretty tall, at least 6’3. His ‘ymcmb’ tee exposed his tatts. Complementing his caramel skin tone. His eyebrows were slit, And his lips were plump as fuck. He lowkey looked like someone I knew…
He looked down at a piece of paper in his hands. He looked at me and smiled. I raised my eyebrow.
He looked back at the paper and frowned. ”Jade?” He asked.
I shook my head. ”You know someone called Jade?”
I leaned against the door frame. ”What’s it to you?”
He smacked his teeth, ”You know this girl?” He handed me a pcture of a little girl, about 6, maybe 7. Her head was poking out of a tree.
I screwed him, ”Why, she been kidnapped or sutten?”
He frowned. ”No. But I heard she was here..” He trailed off. He put his hands in his pockets and pulled out another picture. This time it was a newspaper cut out.
What a freak. I literally faught with myself not to shut the door in his face.
He handed it me, ”Im her brother, You know where she is?”
My mouth fell open. It the picture the media published of Chris & Jades wedding. That girl never told me she had a brother. That’s where I had seen him before, He looked like the guy in the picture in the new house. He looked like him mom too.
I invited him in and closed the door behind him.
”So, Where you been. Like, She never talks about you” I questioned him.
He shrugged ”Jail. For shit I regret”
Luke sat up, ”What you do?”
The guy tensed up, ”Nothing. It’s my past - I want to keep it that way. I was supposed to go in for 25, 10 minimum. But I was a good boy and got out in six”
Luke nodded his head. Instantly I regretted letting him in, He’s a fucking criminal! Daddy would kill me!
”So where do you live now?” I asked.
I picked up the menu. I frowned at it. What the fuck is this? Some freaky ass writing was on it.
“Its French” Jade said smiling.
“Man I don’t know any french” I admitted. I knew Spanish, German and a bit of greek.
What kind of resturant menu is in French anyway?
Jade translated the menu for me and we ate.
Jade took little bits of her food. She moved it about on the plate.
“Chris you know Charmaine is going to Paris?”
“No, why would I care though?”
She sighed and carried on picking at her food.
“How’d you know french?”
“My Grandma was french, she used to force me to learn it. Untill I was 14, she got into an accident and died”
I need to stop asking her these questions. I quickly figured I couldn’t tell her now, Too much emotional trauma and that.
I made a note to myself to tell her tomorrow.
We finished up eating and walked back to the hotel slowly.
”Im hungry as fuck, I need some food in my system” I complained.
She looked at me, ”I swear you ate like two seconds ago”
”Nigga I did, But I’m still hungry” I reasoned.
”Your ass needs to hit the gym or sutten” She laughed.
”Your ass needs to hit the gym too!” I chuckled.
when she caught on, she hit me. I swear this girl is too violent.
We both decided to go to the gym at the hotel. I didn’t want to at first, who goes to the gym in a dress though?
Chris got on a treadmill, I took out my camera and took a picture of him. He mugged me playfully.
”Work That shit Chris!” I laughed.
I sat in the sofa and waited for his ass to finish.
Everyone was gone out the gym now. It was that late. I fell alseep like 2198378 times. Chris was taking this gym thing too seriously. After a while he came and sat next to me.
He smelt like a dead donkey drenched in sweat, ”Move yourself Chris you stink!”
He smiled, ”Its sexy, you know you want some”
He moved closer to me, making sure I smell his nasty ass. I moved his chin away from me. He looked me in the eyes, His head fell to the right abit and his lips attacked mine. I returned the gesture and pressed my lips onto his. He softly bit down on my bottom lip.
Some how we gradually made it to the door 154, our room. Chris quickly pulled out the door key card and handed it to me. His soft lips massaged my neck as I tried to open the front door.
bit my bottom lip trying to contain the moan that was trying to escape, Never in my life had this kind of pleasure ran through my body.
The door accepted the card and we both stumbled in.
He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist and locked his lips on mine. Instantly my arms snaked around his neck. He pushed me againts a wall and attacked my lips again.
His tongue met mines and intertwined in my mouth. He grabbed my ass as we he carried me t the bedroom, without breaking the kiss.
My back hit those soft cotton sheets. Chris licked his lips and kissed my neck again. He started sucking and nibbling on it, making sure to leave his mark.
He pulled away from my neck and looked down at me with so much lust in his brown orbs. Just him looking at me like that added more moisture to my panties.
I wedged my lips between my teeth as he pulled my dress over my head.
Soon enough his top was over his head, leaving him in his jeans and me in my frenchies and the matching bra.
He moved his body comfortably in-between my bare legs. Using his arms to hold up his body strength Chris gently kissed on my neck. I bit harder on my lip.
”Let it out, I want to hear that shit” He demanded.
Chris kissed a straight trail from the top, down to the middle of my body never missing a spot and gradually getting lower and lower.
I finally allowed a moan to escape my lips, I felt him smile against my skin. His teeth caught onto the thin material of my panties.
”Chris, I’m not ready” I mumbled.
It was just moving to fast for me. Chris smacked his teeth and got up off the bed and walked to the bathroom.
Leaving me on the bed, confused as fuck about what just happened.
I awoke by chris whispering my name.
I looked out the window. The Jet was just about landing.
My mouth dropped open. Never in my life have I travelled. We went to the next state when I was 13, and we went to Ohio when I was 10.. That doesn’t really count though.
“Chris you treat me like I deserve this stuff”
“Anything for my wife” he smiled, showing his dimple.
There he goes again with the whole wife thing.
I shook my head as we got off the plane. As soon as our feet touched the bajan ground a limo pulled up. The driver opened the door for us and closed it once we were in the car.
I looked out the window whilst Chris took out his phone.
Barbados was beautiful. How can someone I hardly know do all this for me?
I watched as we wizzed past all sorts of black people, fat; Skinny, tall, short, kids, adults, elderly people too.
The limo pulled up to a big hotel, from the outside, it looked like it could be atleast 4star.
Chris took my hand, really he needs to stop doing that. Tingles shot up my spine as usual.
We got into a lift that took us to the top floor, it didn’t look like a hotel anymore. It looked more like a penthouse now. It was beautiful, I ran into the living room.
Who the fuck lives like this? Chris followed me as I looked in every room.
I wanted to cry. This place was amazing, my mom’s life savings wouldn’t be able to afford a place like this for one night.
I checked the time, 7:36PM. In barbadian time.
“I’m finna take a nap, wake me up in an hour” Chris shouts from the living room.
I go into the main bedroom. It was the size of my bedroom combined with my living room back at home. I walked towards the walk in closet. Most of my clothes were in there. How does he do that?
I sat on the bed and phoned my mom.
“Jade, baby. You looked amazing today!” She cried
“Thank you mommy” I said with a lump in my throat.
“I can’t believe my baby is married, I’m so glad you found the right one” she sobbed down the phone.
“Mommy.. So there’s this girl and she’s doing something she isn’t supposed to and she’s lying to everyone, what advice do you give her?” I asked her, trying not to cry.
“I would tell her to stay true to herself. And she needs to make sure what she is doing is right for her and will be long term. She shouldn’t just have a couple weeks of pleasure that end up being 15years of pain for her later on” She said softly.
“Oh” tears were now streaming down my face. I felt like shit lying to her like that. And the fact she was giving me advice like this wasn’t helping either.
Everything was too much for me to handle.
I went into the living room, Chris was on the sofa fast asleep. I shook his shoulder. “Chris?”
His eyes fluttered open. They then flashed concern.
He sat up and I sat next to him.
“Chris why are you doing this?”
“Cause you’re my-“
“No, tell my why you’re really doing this”
He sighed, “Man, I don’t know. Seeing you happy makes me happy. But its so fucking hard because you don’t tell me anything”
“Chris I told you everything at the party..” I lied.
He gave me the ‘look’ the kind of look your mom gives you when she’s saying ‘if you don’t tell me truth in 5 seconds I will get this shoe and hit you till you do’
I laughed, “Don’t do that,”
He smiled, showing his perfect teeth.
“You know what we should do?” He said
“We need ta eat”
”Thats all you do,” I mumbled
”Do I need to remind your ass of the first day I met you?”
I screwed up my face as if to say I was disgusted by it.
“You know you remember it, I’m a sexy ass nigga” he said touching his face.
I got up before he could do anything and went into the room.
I walked past the mirror, it displayed an average girl, with long black hair, and was a bit chunky from the waist down.
I stopped and looked at myself. If I was going to do this I need to clean myself up.
I took out that messy bun. I found a brush. I brushed my maine. It wasn’t bone straight anymore, it was slightly wavy. I parted it in the middle and brushed out the sides.
I scrubbed of my wedding make up with a wet towel.
I hate make up.
I applied some lipgloss and a bit of eyeliner and mascara.
I took off the clothes Chris gave me in the car and changed into something more me.
Chris’ phone played that ratchet ass song. The caller ID said ‘dad’
I decided if I should pick it or not.. I figured I should because it could be important.
“Hi Mr Brown”
“Please, Call me Richard”
“Is Christopher available?”
“No, he’s sleeping..” I replied.
“Oh Bye for now..”
I went out the balcony and admired the view. It was just amazing.
A couple weeks ago I was the daughter to a hairdresser. Trying to persue her dream of actually getting an education. Unlike half the people in her family.
Now I’m looking over barbados like its something normal people do.
How will this work? Like I don’t want to be in this marrige forever. I want to marry someone I love.. And if we get a divorce, people would think I was in it for the money. And if I don’t get a divorce I’m technically still married to Chris.
And its going to be a couple more months until people start to suspect things.
I was pulled out my thoughts by Chris’ phone ringing, again.
I rushed into the room to check the caller ID, ‘Charmaine”
Chris’ names on his phone were so boring.
I picked up. “Hey hoe”
“Wassup?” she said in a freaky voice.
“Chilling.. Where’s Chris?”
“He’s a sleep”
“You done put his ass to sleep, huh?”
My cheeks burned at that comment.
“No.. He just wanted to sleep”
“Yeah Yeah Jade. I knew you were naughty”
I walked back out into the balcony.
“I’m not naughty at all, Mainey”
“Whatever, I need your help.. Luke’s going to Paris soon and he asked me to come with him. I’m finna go but I got nothing to wear”
Why didn’t she just call me on my phone?
“Aight but you know you aint going to do anything cause Chris will be on yo ass 24/7”
“I know.. That’s why he can’t know…” She trailed off
I looked through the window. Chris was strolling into the room. He yawned and rubbed his stomach. He pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his abs.
I quickly turned around.
“Uh.. Okay… When I get back I’ll help you. I got to go..”
“Okay, bye trick”
She hung up. I turned around again. Chris was already changed.
How do guys do that?
I opened the glass door that led to the bedroom. “You done?”
I nodded. I gave him his phone, he grabbed the hotel key-card thing and we were out the door.
Mijo’s speech nearly had a nigga crying, seeing Ty, Sean & Keeis in suits made it even worse. I’ve known these people since elementry and apart from prom I aint seen any of them in suits.
I would have cried like a bitch if there wasn’t any food after the speeches.
And Jade looked beautiful, not sexy, beautiful. The dress fitted her perfectly. She suited her hair straight.
I wasn’t expecting nothing from her tonight, or any other night.
I don’t care either. That’s why I got it from Khaina the night before.
I’m finna stay faithful.
I pulled out a chair for Jade. She sat down. So I went on the other side of the table.
I checked my phone under the table. 13 texts, 6 voicemails and 36 missed calls..
They were all from diffrent people, but most were from my dad.
I quickly checked my texts, most of them said ‘call me back’ or some shit like that.
I got a new one from my mama, I opened it.
Ma: Jade’s mother has just been in a terrible accident. Please come back, ASAP Christopher. And please tell her without upsetting her too much xx
I looked up from my phone and glanced at Jade, she was looking around the resturant, smiling at people when the smiled at her.
She picked up the menu, read a bit of it and put it down.
Fuck, why do I have to tell her?
I’m finna tell her soon. Just not now.